Tuesday and Wednesday of this week went pretty well. I kept track of my foods and actually stayed under the 1700 calories both days. Yesterday however was a different story.
We had about 4 inches of snow come through Wednesday night. For some of you that amount of snow wouldn't affect anything, however in the south that amount of snow shuts everything down. Schools were out yesterday and today. Being a teacher that means I am at home. I love being able to be here at home with my little girl and yesterday my hubby was home too. However that makes for bigger challenges in eating!
To start the day off my husband made biscuits and gravy. A nice starchy way to start the day. The for lunch we had left over chicken and dumplings. So yummy, but more carbs. And to top the day off we had grilled cheese sandwiches, again yummy but so fattening and full of carbs! I can't blame my husband for everything, I was the one who chose to eat the chicken and dumplings for lunch and grilled cheese sandwiches were my idea as well.
These cold wintry days makes me want good old comfort food and the fact that I am home all day gives me way to many opportunities to snack all day. I did work on several crafting projects yesterday which keeps my hands and my mind busy so I don't think about food but it is still such a challenge.
Today is another snow day and so far I have done well. I have even logged my food for the day, which I did bother with yesterday, and I am determined to make this day a better food choice day!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Shall be begin?
As of today I weight 270 pounds. My goal weight is to be 180 so I have 90 pounds to drop. However I am not going to look at that big goal for now I am setting my goal for this week to be logging my food every day and staying under my given calories every day, it is somewhere around 1700. I am not even going to worry about the scale this week, I have to start somewhere and this is my beginning.
The Greatest Battle Ever!
Well here we go again. It has been a VERY long time since I have even touched this blog. The idea was to give me a place to reflect and work on keeping off the 110 pounds that I had worked so hard for 2 years to get off. Unfortunately, I didn't keep up with my blog and I also didn't keep the weight off.
I have struggled with my ALL of my life. I remember being relieved in kindergarten that there was another heavy girl so I wasn't the only fat person. I weighed 100 pounds by third grade and was over 200 by the 7th grade. I grew up in a family where everyone is morbidly obese, except for my little sister. I still haven't quite figured out how she managed to escape it. After college I finally decided I had to do something about it and joined LA wightloss. It took me 2 years but the weight came off and I reached my goal of 165 pounds. I was able to get into a size 8 jean and for once I weighed less than my sister, we won't mention she was 9 months pregnant at the time. I was feeling pretty good and was so proud of myself.
After working for 2 years to get 110 pounds off it started to gradually creep back on. I gained 25 pounds back fairly quickly after I stopped running. I thought that I was making healthy choices but the cookies and the cakes began to call to me again and I would give in. After gaining that 25 pounds I pretty much stabilized and I was happy being a size 14 and felt great. As long as I was under 200 pounds I was awesome. I stayed there for about a year with no problem at all.
In the end of 2008 I met the love my life! It was so amazing being with him and having such a great time dating, aka eating out a lot! It also didn't help, that he was and is an amazing cook. In the 7 months we were dating/engaged I put on 15 pounds thinking oh it's just because we have been eating out so much I will lose that no problem. However, a month after we were married I found out I was pregnant! We were so excited and when I went to my first doctors appointment I discovered I had gained yet another 15 pounds! I was a little mortified at that fact but thought it will be okay I get it off after the baby is born.
I actually maintained my weight for the first 5 months of my pregnancy. I thought I was doing pretty well, though I spent the last 3 months of that only being able to keep down grilled cheese sandwiches and baked potatoes. Once I could eat regular food again I let myself go, not a good idea! By the time my sweet little girl was born I had packed on 50 pounds and weighed the most that I had ever weighed in my entire life!
I thought that's okay we can get this back off. Right after she was born I dropped 20 right off. Now she is 9 months old and instead of losing weight I have gained 10 pounds back! It is kind of horrifying to know that after 2 years of working my tail off I am now only 3 pounds away from where I started then.
So here I am back at my blog to have a place to be accountable. I may be the only one who ever reads this but I have to do something. On top of being disgusted with myself every time I look in my closet full of clothes and realize there are only about 6 shirts and 2 pairs of pants in there that currently fit me, I found out my mother was just diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. This fact has kicked me back into gear to get this weight back off once again.
This time I am simply going to track calories in and calories out. I have the LoseIt application on my iPhone to keep track of what I am eating each day. I am also going to log on here at least 3 times a week to keep track of my weight but also my struggles and triumphs as this journey begins yet again. This time I am doing it for my daughter and my husband, so I can be around to spend forever with them both, but I am also doing this for me. I am worth it! I am worth every once of effort to be healthy and full of life.
I know I am not the only one in this world struggling to conquer a weight problem though right now it feels as if I am all alone and the edge of a precipice. I just hope that whoever my happen across this blog might be encouraged to begin the hard journey of living a healthier life.
I have struggled with my ALL of my life. I remember being relieved in kindergarten that there was another heavy girl so I wasn't the only fat person. I weighed 100 pounds by third grade and was over 200 by the 7th grade. I grew up in a family where everyone is morbidly obese, except for my little sister. I still haven't quite figured out how she managed to escape it. After college I finally decided I had to do something about it and joined LA wightloss. It took me 2 years but the weight came off and I reached my goal of 165 pounds. I was able to get into a size 8 jean and for once I weighed less than my sister, we won't mention she was 9 months pregnant at the time. I was feeling pretty good and was so proud of myself.
After working for 2 years to get 110 pounds off it started to gradually creep back on. I gained 25 pounds back fairly quickly after I stopped running. I thought that I was making healthy choices but the cookies and the cakes began to call to me again and I would give in. After gaining that 25 pounds I pretty much stabilized and I was happy being a size 14 and felt great. As long as I was under 200 pounds I was awesome. I stayed there for about a year with no problem at all.
In the end of 2008 I met the love my life! It was so amazing being with him and having such a great time dating, aka eating out a lot! It also didn't help, that he was and is an amazing cook. In the 7 months we were dating/engaged I put on 15 pounds thinking oh it's just because we have been eating out so much I will lose that no problem. However, a month after we were married I found out I was pregnant! We were so excited and when I went to my first doctors appointment I discovered I had gained yet another 15 pounds! I was a little mortified at that fact but thought it will be okay I get it off after the baby is born.
I actually maintained my weight for the first 5 months of my pregnancy. I thought I was doing pretty well, though I spent the last 3 months of that only being able to keep down grilled cheese sandwiches and baked potatoes. Once I could eat regular food again I let myself go, not a good idea! By the time my sweet little girl was born I had packed on 50 pounds and weighed the most that I had ever weighed in my entire life!
I thought that's okay we can get this back off. Right after she was born I dropped 20 right off. Now she is 9 months old and instead of losing weight I have gained 10 pounds back! It is kind of horrifying to know that after 2 years of working my tail off I am now only 3 pounds away from where I started then.
So here I am back at my blog to have a place to be accountable. I may be the only one who ever reads this but I have to do something. On top of being disgusted with myself every time I look in my closet full of clothes and realize there are only about 6 shirts and 2 pairs of pants in there that currently fit me, I found out my mother was just diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. This fact has kicked me back into gear to get this weight back off once again.
This time I am simply going to track calories in and calories out. I have the LoseIt application on my iPhone to keep track of what I am eating each day. I am also going to log on here at least 3 times a week to keep track of my weight but also my struggles and triumphs as this journey begins yet again. This time I am doing it for my daughter and my husband, so I can be around to spend forever with them both, but I am also doing this for me. I am worth it! I am worth every once of effort to be healthy and full of life.
I know I am not the only one in this world struggling to conquer a weight problem though right now it feels as if I am all alone and the edge of a precipice. I just hope that whoever my happen across this blog might be encouraged to begin the hard journey of living a healthier life.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Busy, Busy, Busy
School has started and I feel like I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off! The first few weeks of school are always total chaos, I get stressed, and I feel exhausted. All three things lead add up to bad news on the health front.
Though I have to say I am proud of myself. Thanks to my mom, I actually had healthy food choices when my family got together on Saturday. We had angel food cake, fresh strawberries, and low fat ice cream to celebrate. Of course the last few days have started out well and ended well but the middle ground was a bit shaky. I have managed to walk for an hour two days in a row but my food choices have not been very desirable. I have been living off of carbs and not good ones.
Now if I can only get my food and exercise to match up again I will be doing good. Though I do have to say I think I made a bit of a break through in mind set. After listening to 4 hours of "What Not to Wear" on TLC, while working on lesson planning, I finally understood that the number in your clothes don't matter. It is okay to need a size 12 in some jeans and wear a size 8 skirt. That sometimes you can buy a medium but other times you are gonna have to get that large so it looks good. It is not about the number it is all about the fit.
I guess I have put alot of faith in a number. For so long I had always imagined that a size 10 would be my perfect size and wearing mostly 12's has about driven me crazy. Being so close and yet so far away. But this weekend I decided that being a 12 is alright as long as I am active, healthy, and look amazing in my clothes. :)
Though I have to say I am proud of myself. Thanks to my mom, I actually had healthy food choices when my family got together on Saturday. We had angel food cake, fresh strawberries, and low fat ice cream to celebrate. Of course the last few days have started out well and ended well but the middle ground was a bit shaky. I have managed to walk for an hour two days in a row but my food choices have not been very desirable. I have been living off of carbs and not good ones.
Now if I can only get my food and exercise to match up again I will be doing good. Though I do have to say I think I made a bit of a break through in mind set. After listening to 4 hours of "What Not to Wear" on TLC, while working on lesson planning, I finally understood that the number in your clothes don't matter. It is okay to need a size 12 in some jeans and wear a size 8 skirt. That sometimes you can buy a medium but other times you are gonna have to get that large so it looks good. It is not about the number it is all about the fit.
I guess I have put alot of faith in a number. For so long I had always imagined that a size 10 would be my perfect size and wearing mostly 12's has about driven me crazy. Being so close and yet so far away. But this weekend I decided that being a 12 is alright as long as I am active, healthy, and look amazing in my clothes. :)
Thursday, August 16, 2007
I Did It!!
I am so proud of myself!
I haven't been running in quite a while and yesterday I decided that I was going to start again. My friend Kathy wants me to run in a 10k in November, don't think that is possible, but I told her I would run in a 5k this fall and maybe a 10k this spring if she would run with me. Meaning she would have to slow waaaaaaayyyyy down.
Well I got on the treadmill last night and ran an entire mile. So it took me 18 minutes but still did it without stopping. I am getting ready to get on and do a mile and a quarter tonight.
The plan is I am going to keep it at this slow pace and work my way up to 3.5 miles. Once I can run 3.5 slow and confidently then I will start bumping up the speed a little at a time. I think that is a totally do able plan.
Other good news I dropped the 5 pounds I gained on vacation!! So I have my other 15 that I gained over the summer to lose now.
I haven't been running in quite a while and yesterday I decided that I was going to start again. My friend Kathy wants me to run in a 10k in November, don't think that is possible, but I told her I would run in a 5k this fall and maybe a 10k this spring if she would run with me. Meaning she would have to slow waaaaaaayyyyy down.
Well I got on the treadmill last night and ran an entire mile. So it took me 18 minutes but still did it without stopping. I am getting ready to get on and do a mile and a quarter tonight.
The plan is I am going to keep it at this slow pace and work my way up to 3.5 miles. Once I can run 3.5 slow and confidently then I will start bumping up the speed a little at a time. I think that is a totally do able plan.
Other good news I dropped the 5 pounds I gained on vacation!! So I have my other 15 that I gained over the summer to lose now.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Dieting Doom
Today I watched a show where they were talking about 3 factors that doom every dieter. First is peer influance. If a dieter is around people who eat more then they tend to give themselves permission to eat more as well. Second was temptation is greater for a dieter than it is for someone who is not a dieter. Dieter's tend to be people who will continue to eat past when they are full just because it is there. The factor was stress. Many people will use food to calm themselves when they are stressed and therefore they will over eat. They said that the only difference between a dieter and a non-dieter is their mindset.
As I watched the program I realized they were talking about me. I face each of these three factors every single day. I have struggled everyday of my life with a dieters mentality. After two years of working so hard to lose the weight I still struggle. I don't know how to change this mentality. How do I allow myself to enjoy what I want but to stop when I have had enough. I am still learning how to make healthy choices and still allow myself to enjoy those things I would normally consider temptations in moderation.
I guess the question becomes what is moderation?
As I watched the program I realized they were talking about me. I face each of these three factors every single day. I have struggled everyday of my life with a dieters mentality. After two years of working so hard to lose the weight I still struggle. I don't know how to change this mentality. How do I allow myself to enjoy what I want but to stop when I have had enough. I am still learning how to make healthy choices and still allow myself to enjoy those things I would normally consider temptations in moderation.
I guess the question becomes what is moderation?
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Winning After Losing
Yesterday I was watching Oprah. It was one of those reunion shows where they bring people back that have been on before. Well over the last 20 years she has been following a woman who when they first met her in 1987 was 25 and weight over 500 pounds. I can't remember the woman's name, but over the course of the last 20 years she has struggled over and over again. She finally had gastric bypass and lost over 300 pounds. Since then she has written a book called Winning After Losing. Basically from what I could tell it is her story and the stories of others who have lost big amounts of weight and how they have been able to keep it off.
It is a struggle that is for sure! So I think I am going to buy the book just to see how other people have managed to maintain their weight loss. You know I am grateful to those who have been fit their entire lives and they want to help other people, but I think advice from someone who has walked the path I now walk is so much better. People who have been thin their entire lives have no clue how much of a battle everyday becomes when you use food as your drug of choice.
As for today I did alright but not my best. For some reason I have been craving sweets like crazy and fruit is not cutting it. I probably should have gone without the peanut butter and honey that I ate after dinner tonight but it did get rid of the sweet tooth. I also didn't do any exercise though I did steam clean my carpets and lugging the cleaner around made me break a sweat!
So tomorrow is another day. I can do this! I am going geocaching in the morning so that will give me some exercise!
It is a struggle that is for sure! So I think I am going to buy the book just to see how other people have managed to maintain their weight loss. You know I am grateful to those who have been fit their entire lives and they want to help other people, but I think advice from someone who has walked the path I now walk is so much better. People who have been thin their entire lives have no clue how much of a battle everyday becomes when you use food as your drug of choice.
As for today I did alright but not my best. For some reason I have been craving sweets like crazy and fruit is not cutting it. I probably should have gone without the peanut butter and honey that I ate after dinner tonight but it did get rid of the sweet tooth. I also didn't do any exercise though I did steam clean my carpets and lugging the cleaner around made me break a sweat!
So tomorrow is another day. I can do this! I am going geocaching in the morning so that will give me some exercise!
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